“如果没有你”

“如果没有你” - If, without you...

Hey, 我真的好想你
Hey, I miss you a lot...

现在窗外面又开始下着雨
It starts to rain again outside...

眼睛干干的 有想哭的心情
My eyes are dry, My tears cant be controlled

不知道你现在到底在哪里
I have no idea where you are now...

Hey，我真的好想你
Hey, I really miss you a lot...

太多的情绪没适当的表情
I cant express my true feeling

最想说的话 我应该从何说起
I have no idea how should i start to tell you what i think

最想说的话 我该从何说起
I have no idea who to begin with our conversation

你是否也像我一样在想你
Are you miss me like i do?!


如果没有你
If, without you

没有过去 我不会伤心
without the pass, i wont be sad

但是有如果还是要爱你
If there is another chance, i stil choose to love you

如果没有你
If, without you

我在哪里又有什么可惜
There wont be any meaning with my presence

反正一切来不及
because it is too late

反正没有了自己
Because i had lost myself


Hey，我真的好想你
Hey, I really miss you a lot...

不知道你现在到底在哪里
I have no idea where you are now...

你是否也像我一样在想你
Are you miss me as much as i do?!



By my favorite singer - Jam Xiao


Sung by Anthony from chao ji xing guang da dao! Sexy~~~


Original singer -by Carren Mok


I miss you~~~

Emo...

Please allow me to be emotional, jz a little...
Esp today is valentine's day...

Today wake up with nothing special feeling...
After church, went to karaoke with frens..
And, i sang a nomber of songs..
And, i think of you and start to miss you... Jz a little...
But, nothing special..
Jz because of the song and because im lonely, I guess...


Still remember b'coz of this song, we were together...




Stil remember, we sang this song 2gether in bed?!

I miss you... Jz a bit... ha!
Hope you'll be happy.. coz, i dun deserve you...
Baby, i'll always pray for you that you'll always be happy!


And, after a year (i guess?!) I still miss you EVERY time i listen to this song...



Hope u'll be fine!!!

Great songs!!!

Amei is COMING!!!

OMFG!!! jz learned from my fren that Amei is coming to TOWN again this year, as she promised during her last trip to M'sia...

I want the front row!!!
I'm crazily in love with her!!
and, all my frens know of it..

Once in my life, I sang her song for 3-4 hours ALONE in karaoke room.. jz for her songs... from the 1st page.. but, sadly, i couldn't finish... coz, her SONGs are toooooo many and i know almost all of it... hehe!
Am i crazy??!!!
Yes.. im crazy with Amei...

p/s:
Amei makes me think of you... miss you!!
Wil Uwanna join me to her consert this time?!
Will you go?
I guess so! hehe...

All the best!

Birthday...

Yes... when one's age getting older, he/she wont be that excited for their birthday as those days when one was younger...
Me too... this year, i have no much feeling about that...

But, in my mind, for quite a long time, i WANNA spend my birthday alone with my handphone OFF.. so that, nobody will disturb me and find me out for some other things...

i DON"t feel lonely, but kind of enjoying being ALONE...
i know, im weird... that's y i dun have many real friends with me...
even those who are close to me, always feel im weird to be with...

Some people feel that im an artistic guy for sure, as im weird, and all musician/ artists are weird...
I never deny...

This year, my birthday means the begining of my holiday, approaching Chinese New Year, and it is also the end of my 'suffer' in my current posting (Or, in medical life...)

I cant wait to start my own business, and leave medical field...
as, all DOCTORs are DOG-tors... no life... jz hospital, and hospital and hospital...
it's very sad... and pathetic...
If i keep continue in this field and sacrifice my time for these things which i dun like at all, i'll be regret in future.... (Most people, jz doing routine things to keep their life going, they forget and abandon their dream for long time... i doubt that, in future, they'll regret when they look back...)

Life is short, I dont want to live with regret...
so, the ONLY wish in my birthday is...
May my dream comes true... (leaving medical field ASAP...)
and, i am happy to stay single...

p/s:
Boy boy, im sorry for leaving you...
not ur fault, but, it's my selfishness...
plz forgive my selfishness...
I love you!

My boy boy

Because i went for movie almost daily after work with my fren, therefore, we could only meet after a few days on Fri night...
My Bad...
He was exhausted (and, i dint even ask the reason), but he stil came to my place, because of me... and he had not taken his dinner either...
He 'ta bao' for me...
and, i just lied on the bed, not willing to look into him.. because after a tiring week in a new ward, i was really really exhausted... Somemore, i am on-call on the next day (Pre-call syndrome)...
He left me at around 11pm... as i was really tired, and i dint care about him as well...
Only until the next day, i sms him and apologize to him...

If u ask me, whether i care about him...
Undoubtedly, I will say 'yes'...
However, he always praised other guys in front of me in order to stir up my jealousy...
But, i did not jealous...
Probably because i know deeply that he just talked talked for fun...
But, my thought is not parallel with my action, i guess... (I dun know why!!!)

He likes to sing very much...
And, i always stopped him, coz he was always out of tune... haha!
He likes to tell me how attractive he is to other gays,
But, i never agree with him that he's that attractive...
As my experience tells, 'u worths the credit only give others give you from the bottom of their heart, not by yourself...'

P/S:
Boy boy, thx for bringing food during my on-call...
Boy boy, thx for singing and cheering me up when i was tired and sad...
Boy boy, thx for tolerating my stubborn and weird tempers...

I love you!

His birthday...

Today is his BIG day...
I have been headache with what i should do for this celebration...

Soooooooooooooo bad...
Because i was too tired, and he was tooooo kind, we missed the time for his body balance class.. i felt soooooooooooo bad... due to my laziness, he missed his class which he never/seldom miss for the past 3-4 years... i was a bad bf... i know!

And, he was mad at me, as i was busy checking my facebook and refused to get ready for karaoke session...
He went out to have his cigratte (pretend to be angry), and i immediately rushed to take a quick shower before he really gets angry at me at his BIG day...

And, he couldn't get a parking slot because today is SUNDAY and it was the afternoon... His mood lagi 'tak baik'... 1st time, saw him really angry and threw his tantrum at me... Scary!
I kept consoling him for not to get angry, esp on his birthday...

We started our karaoke session...
Oh.. time flies.. in twinkling of an eyes, 4 hours has passed...
And, he enjoyed very much... I am happy!
We were crazily dancing, singing and kissing...
OMFG... this was my very 1st time, i sang soooooooooooo many broken cantonese song... I really should brush up my cantonese!!! What a shame, after staying in KL for 6 years, i still cant speak a more proper cantonese...
Sorry to my patients as well... (as many of them couldn't understand my broken cantonese as well...)

We planned for a movie.. but, the schedule was not suited with our time... so, we gave up our plan, but for dinner in one of his favourite mamak stall...

Yeah... i told him i did not buy anything for him from singapore...
but, i did buy a necklace for him...
He said "thank you" happily...
I like to see his smiling face, as he is very cute, just like a small kid receiving a gift from Santa Claus... haha!
And, I played him a birthday song and my own composing - Christmas song...
Then, I kissed him gently, followed by giving him a hand-made birthday card, with the 8 letters, 3 words, which he wants to listen from me...
and, YES... I finally said it to him, at his birthday...
I told him, I want this to be special...
I hope, it is indeed very special to him...


P/S:
Baby,
Happy Birthday...
and, I LOVE you...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha! I really need ur help on my boy boy's birthday present...
His birthday is just AROUND THE CORNER...
And, i have booked him the whole day on his BIG day...

What should i do for the celebration?!
What should i offer him?!
What will make his day a very special day?!

My body?! (he refuses, coz he said i look like 吴孟达... sad!!!)
My special lovely gift from singapore?!
My composing?!
My singing?!

Of course, i'll go body balance class with him, that's his favourite MUST-do things in his daily life... (Erm... then, proceed to shower together?! or, having sex in sauna or steam room?! Yerr... He wont allow me de...)

He likes to sing, for sure, we'll go sing karaoke.. As i am labelled as "CRAZY karaoke king"...
haha!

He likes to tell story... so, im going to let him talk until i really cant tahan, and sleep in his chest... LOL...


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!
Come on, i need your help!
Plzzzzzz.................

Happy Hours...

You asked me to say 3 words...
I remained silence...

You asked me to hold your hand in public...
I had courage to do so when we were walking in the dark street...

You asked me to loss weight and build up muscle...
I can't promise you in vain... as i know my weakness...

I asked you to quit smoking...
You did try not to, but it is very hard for you, i know... that's why i smoked for the 1st and very last time in my life... Cigarettes tastes like SHIT... Opps... no offence!

I asked you to tell me the reason you 'choose' me...
U always answered me that you hadn't made any decision yet...
yet, you kissed me gently... deep into my throat and my d... hehe!

p/s:
I enjoy every moment with you...
Eating together... sleeping together...
Hugging, Kissing, Having Fun...
and the session of body-balancing in fitness centre...

You are cute!!!

Are you my man?!

You said im fat...
I never denied...

You asked me to slim down...
I said i had tried very hard... and i will try harder for both of us...
But, you kept asking me out eating with you..
And, you promised to cook something for me while im doing my call today....
You are soooooooo sweet!
*Keeping my fingers crossed*

You said you love your ex more than me, somemore asking me, whether im angry or not...
I dint answer... and, i was not mad, as that was ur past and you are just being honest to me, and i am happy for that.. the most important thing is, you are MINE now.. hehe!

You like to tell me story from the very beginning without skipping any details in between...
Sometimes, i "fast-forward" your story, but you stopped me with ur innocence...
You are soooo cute....
Yes, boy. I would love to listen to everything you tell me, although sometimes it is boring... As long as you are excited about it...

You said, i just fantasize your body...
I never deny... but, i am trying my best to prove to you that, your soul and you heart are much more beautiful than your body which you are very proud and confident of...
My boy, be confident with who you are...

You kept critizing me...
I was not mad with you, coz those were truth.. and, i am deeply aware of it...
My boy, i am happy that you are accepting my defect... Thank you!


Are you my man?!
I am not sure...
But, i think, i have deeply in love with you already...

Prince Charming?!

i DONT believe in love...

Few weeks ago, i knew someone thru facebook...
I jz added him for the sake of adding someone leng chai (LC)...
Surprisingly, he message me back...
Erm... then, we exchanged no, and we met in person...

At 1st, i found him just a normal guy...
I guess, i wont meet him for second time gua...
As he is not my type, and he kept boasting about his pride...
and, the worst thing was, he didn't order food for me... let me stay hunger with teh tarik only...
and, he didn't even ask me whether i wanted to eat or not...
Obviously, that was dinner time... i was STARVING... (such a dumb ass!!!)
I left him for another dinner with my best fren...

Since then, he sms me everyday...
and i replied...
sms non-stop...
My inbox was full with his messages...

I 'forced' him to buy food for me during one of my on-call...
That day, one of my best fren did offer me to tabao...
but, i rejected.. as he promised to buy me food...
I waited, hungry again...
and, i needed to take something b4 he could deliver the food...
and, he asked me to pay for it... Im fine with that...
I finished the food immediately although i was full...

He went for Bali trip with his ex and his buddy...
At the very 1st day, he sms me...
He was drunk that time...
I asked him how much he need to pay for by sms-ing me... (he told me it was rm1/sms)

The second day, he sms me, he missed me and hoped that i was by his side in bali...
I replied him, 'im a fat, ugly, long-hair guy...' (he liked short hair and well-built guy. Obviously who can resist fit good-looking guy?!)

At the very last day, he sms me again...
I told him, i missed him...
I wanted him to come to me immediately he was back to PJ...
He came, and that time i was on-call...
Very lucky thing, nobody called me from 1.30am until 5.30am...
and, i was with him...
We kissed...
My first kiss was taken...
We hugged...

He didn't allow me to do more, as i promised...
He didn't want to give me his body easily, as he thinks i just fantasize his body...

I DONT believe in love...
I keep thinking, is he my prince charming?!

but, who cares?
I like him at the moment...
I enjoy with him...
No matter what happens (which is unpredictable), i wont be regret...
As i enjoy the time now...

p/s:
My boy,
Go with ur feeling,
Dun think too much for the future,
As we wont change any single thing by thinking more!

Bangkok Trip

yeah.. i went to bangkok with my frens for 4 days...
Erm.. nothing much to tell during the trip...
and, i turned into shopholic ONCE again (since after phuket trip) during this trip.. and, i BOUHGT damn many things for myself and frens.... even the nurses and my beloved professor.. haha!
otherwise, the trip was not that eventful...

NOT REALLY, bangkok is really a heaven for seeing LC... (LC = leng chai)...
i was soooooo excited to glance thru all of those LC...
Erm... Thai boys are almost all looking good as compared to other Asians...
and, those come from Western country, of course... undoubtedly LC... ha!

this entry, i wanna share 1 thing that i keep thinking after the trip...

4 of us going, 2 guys, 2 gals...(1 pair of couple)...
so, the couple was sleeping in btw of me and the other gal...
the very 1st night...
his hand was touching me accidently... i could smell his body scent.. it was sooooo nice...
deep at night, he hugged me... tightly... (his gf was beside him)
i dared not to move...
i felt his inspiration and expiration...
and, i tried my very best to synchronise my breath with him, as i was afraid that my breathing would wake him up... (or he was awake... i dun know...)

the funny thing is, his gf "curi-curi" asked me about yesterday the hugging thing... and, i pretended that i dun know... i wonder, whether he knows or not...

As i couldn't resist, i secretly touched his body at the last night...
yeah! im bad... and im in love with him...(and he knows...)
oh yeah.. i told him that im gay few months ago... and, he didnt question much and just accept what i told him... and, our relationship becomes closer as i told him everything even the gay stuff... ha!

but, i dun want to have you, as u are happy with who u are at the moment...
i wish u HAPPY, then i'll be happy...

wish u, HAPPY FOREVER.. my best fren!

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...


New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

Why is $ex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...


Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.


Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.

Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR...... it is SHOWTIME!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later


Advantages of having an affair with a married women.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!

If Adam and Eve were Asian, we would be still in Paradise . Why?

Because they would have eaten the damned snake instead of the frikin' apple!

· can make snakeskin handbag for eve;

· shoes for adam;

· snakeskin makes adam's hard like steel so more sex.

Everyone happy!!!

It is you...

ya.. i know, it is you...
you were wearing in red, and watching 'ugly truth'...


all the best!

A song for you

im composing a song for you.. during my holiday...
will record and post it up once it's complete!

u'll know the message thru the song when u listen to it...
and, i MISS you...

hope u are fine and happy!

Will time heal?!

Time wil heal?!
i totally believe those days...

but, i dun really believe it anymore...
coz, im stil missing you...

i keep singing this song..
and, i keep on 'searching' for you in public.. ha!
how silly i am?!
i KNOW... ha!



Im stil missing you...
A lot...

I miss you!!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!!

i never stop missing you...

Where r you?!

Main Character

Every movie has its own main character who will be protected and loved by others (No matter how hard the life is)…

I kept flashing back my own life, why was I left alone most the time… I dun care being lonely, but I need someone to lend me their shoulders when I was uneasy… but, I couldn’t think of anyone…

Maybe I am too dominant… People scared of me
Maybe I am too protective… Nobody dares to approach…
Maybe I am too confident… so, this makes me to take the lead all the time…

Im tired…
Im sad…
Im weak…

Sometimes, I need someone to lead me, to concern me, and to arrange/organize things for me… coz, im really tired to be the lead…


WHO is willing to do that for me?!
You?
You?
Or you…?!

A Letter to Little Dove

Little Dove,

Where are you?
Where are you going?
Why are you flying/leaving alone?!
Are you happy?
Are you lonely?
Are you living happily with PC?!
Or, you are now trapped deep in the jungle?!

Happy for you!
Im sorry!
And, I miss you!


Johnny...

Where are you, baby?!

It was 4pm…

I sweated profusely…
My laptop battery was dead…
Reading novel and playing piano as if I was in a sonar room…
I was attacked by thousands of annoying flies… (As well as my grandma Alzheimer speech!!)

WTF! What’s a life?!
Why am I still alive?!

TNB, where are you?
HOW much do we pay you monthly?!
U took 7-8 hrs to fix a few cables…?! (WTF!!!)
Do you know how hot the weather is nowadays?! From 11am till 7pm… it’s unforgivable!!!
Do you know how much pain and damage do you cause to others?!


你害怕的是什么
What are u scared of?
你想要的是什么
What do u want?
站在你背后 我连呼吸都痛
Stand behind you, I can feel the pain even when i breathe