His birthday...

Today is his BIG day...
I have been headache with what i should do for this celebration...

Soooooooooooooo bad...
Because i was too tired, and he was tooooo kind, we missed the time for his body balance class.. i felt soooooooooooo bad... due to my laziness, he missed his class which he never/seldom miss for the past 3-4 years... i was a bad bf... i know!

And, he was mad at me, as i was busy checking my facebook and refused to get ready for karaoke session...
He went out to have his cigratte (pretend to be angry), and i immediately rushed to take a quick shower before he really gets angry at me at his BIG day...

And, he couldn't get a parking slot because today is SUNDAY and it was the afternoon... His mood lagi 'tak baik'... 1st time, saw him really angry and threw his tantrum at me... Scary!
I kept consoling him for not to get angry, esp on his birthday...

We started our karaoke session...
Oh.. time flies.. in twinkling of an eyes, 4 hours has passed...
And, he enjoyed very much... I am happy!
We were crazily dancing, singing and kissing...
OMFG... this was my very 1st time, i sang soooooooooooo many broken cantonese song... I really should brush up my cantonese!!! What a shame, after staying in KL for 6 years, i still cant speak a more proper cantonese...
Sorry to my patients as well... (as many of them couldn't understand my broken cantonese as well...)

We planned for a movie.. but, the schedule was not suited with our time... so, we gave up our plan, but for dinner in one of his favourite mamak stall...

Yeah... i told him i did not buy anything for him from singapore...
but, i did buy a necklace for him...
He said "thank you" happily...
I like to see his smiling face, as he is very cute, just like a small kid receiving a gift from Santa Claus... haha!
And, I played him a birthday song and my own composing - Christmas song...
Then, I kissed him gently, followed by giving him a hand-made birthday card, with the 8 letters, 3 words, which he wants to listen from me...
and, YES... I finally said it to him, at his birthday...
I told him, I want this to be special...
I hope, it is indeed very special to him...


P/S:
Baby,
Happy Birthday...
and, I LOVE you...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha! I really need ur help on my boy boy's birthday present...
His birthday is just AROUND THE CORNER...
And, i have booked him the whole day on his BIG day...

What should i do for the celebration?!
What should i offer him?!
What will make his day a very special day?!

My body?! (he refuses, coz he said i look like 吴孟达... sad!!!)
My special lovely gift from singapore?!
My composing?!
My singing?!

Of course, i'll go body balance class with him, that's his favourite MUST-do things in his daily life... (Erm... then, proceed to shower together?! or, having sex in sauna or steam room?! Yerr... He wont allow me de...)

He likes to sing, for sure, we'll go sing karaoke.. As i am labelled as "CRAZY karaoke king"...
haha!

He likes to tell story... so, im going to let him talk until i really cant tahan, and sleep in his chest... LOL...


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!
Come on, i need your help!
Plzzzzzz.................

Happy Hours...

You asked me to say 3 words...
I remained silence...

You asked me to hold your hand in public...
I had courage to do so when we were walking in the dark street...

You asked me to loss weight and build up muscle...
I can't promise you in vain... as i know my weakness...

I asked you to quit smoking...
You did try not to, but it is very hard for you, i know... that's why i smoked for the 1st and very last time in my life... Cigarettes tastes like SHIT... Opps... no offence!

I asked you to tell me the reason you 'choose' me...
U always answered me that you hadn't made any decision yet...
yet, you kissed me gently... deep into my throat and my d... hehe!

p/s:
I enjoy every moment with you...
Eating together... sleeping together...
Hugging, Kissing, Having Fun...
and the session of body-balancing in fitness centre...

You are cute!!!

Are you my man?!

You said im fat...
I never denied...

You asked me to slim down...
I said i had tried very hard... and i will try harder for both of us...
But, you kept asking me out eating with you..
And, you promised to cook something for me while im doing my call today....
You are soooooooo sweet!
*Keeping my fingers crossed*

You said you love your ex more than me, somemore asking me, whether im angry or not...
I dint answer... and, i was not mad, as that was ur past and you are just being honest to me, and i am happy for that.. the most important thing is, you are MINE now.. hehe!

You like to tell me story from the very beginning without skipping any details in between...
Sometimes, i "fast-forward" your story, but you stopped me with ur innocence...
You are soooo cute....
Yes, boy. I would love to listen to everything you tell me, although sometimes it is boring... As long as you are excited about it...

You said, i just fantasize your body...
I never deny... but, i am trying my best to prove to you that, your soul and you heart are much more beautiful than your body which you are very proud and confident of...
My boy, be confident with who you are...

You kept critizing me...
I was not mad with you, coz those were truth.. and, i am deeply aware of it...
My boy, i am happy that you are accepting my defect... Thank you!


Are you my man?!
I am not sure...
But, i think, i have deeply in love with you already...

Prince Charming?!

i DONT believe in love...

Few weeks ago, i knew someone thru facebook...
I jz added him for the sake of adding someone leng chai (LC)...
Surprisingly, he message me back...
Erm... then, we exchanged no, and we met in person...

At 1st, i found him just a normal guy...
I guess, i wont meet him for second time gua...
As he is not my type, and he kept boasting about his pride...
and, the worst thing was, he didn't order food for me... let me stay hunger with teh tarik only...
and, he didn't even ask me whether i wanted to eat or not...
Obviously, that was dinner time... i was STARVING... (such a dumb ass!!!)
I left him for another dinner with my best fren...

Since then, he sms me everyday...
and i replied...
sms non-stop...
My inbox was full with his messages...

I 'forced' him to buy food for me during one of my on-call...
That day, one of my best fren did offer me to tabao...
but, i rejected.. as he promised to buy me food...
I waited, hungry again...
and, i needed to take something b4 he could deliver the food...
and, he asked me to pay for it... Im fine with that...
I finished the food immediately although i was full...

He went for Bali trip with his ex and his buddy...
At the very 1st day, he sms me...
He was drunk that time...
I asked him how much he need to pay for by sms-ing me... (he told me it was rm1/sms)

The second day, he sms me, he missed me and hoped that i was by his side in bali...
I replied him, 'im a fat, ugly, long-hair guy...' (he liked short hair and well-built guy. Obviously who can resist fit good-looking guy?!)

At the very last day, he sms me again...
I told him, i missed him...
I wanted him to come to me immediately he was back to PJ...
He came, and that time i was on-call...
Very lucky thing, nobody called me from 1.30am until 5.30am...
and, i was with him...
We kissed...
My first kiss was taken...
We hugged...

He didn't allow me to do more, as i promised...
He didn't want to give me his body easily, as he thinks i just fantasize his body...

I DONT believe in love...
I keep thinking, is he my prince charming?!

but, who cares?
I like him at the moment...
I enjoy with him...
No matter what happens (which is unpredictable), i wont be regret...
As i enjoy the time now...

p/s:
My boy,
Go with ur feeling,
Dun think too much for the future,
As we wont change any single thing by thinking more!

Bangkok Trip

yeah.. i went to bangkok with my frens for 4 days...
Erm.. nothing much to tell during the trip...
and, i turned into shopholic ONCE again (since after phuket trip) during this trip.. and, i BOUHGT damn many things for myself and frens.... even the nurses and my beloved professor.. haha!
otherwise, the trip was not that eventful...

NOT REALLY, bangkok is really a heaven for seeing LC... (LC = leng chai)...
i was soooooo excited to glance thru all of those LC...
Erm... Thai boys are almost all looking good as compared to other Asians...
and, those come from Western country, of course... undoubtedly LC... ha!

this entry, i wanna share 1 thing that i keep thinking after the trip...

4 of us going, 2 guys, 2 gals...(1 pair of couple)...
so, the couple was sleeping in btw of me and the other gal...
the very 1st night...
his hand was touching me accidently... i could smell his body scent.. it was sooooo nice...
deep at night, he hugged me... tightly... (his gf was beside him)
i dared not to move...
i felt his inspiration and expiration...
and, i tried my very best to synchronise my breath with him, as i was afraid that my breathing would wake him up... (or he was awake... i dun know...)

the funny thing is, his gf "curi-curi" asked me about yesterday the hugging thing... and, i pretended that i dun know... i wonder, whether he knows or not...

As i couldn't resist, i secretly touched his body at the last night...
yeah! im bad... and im in love with him...(and he knows...)
oh yeah.. i told him that im gay few months ago... and, he didnt question much and just accept what i told him... and, our relationship becomes closer as i told him everything even the gay stuff... ha!

but, i dun want to have you, as u are happy with who u are at the moment...
i wish u HAPPY, then i'll be happy...

wish u, HAPPY FOREVER.. my best fren!

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...


New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

Why is $ex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...


Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.


Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.

Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR...... it is SHOWTIME!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later


Advantages of having an affair with a married women.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!

If Adam and Eve were Asian, we would be still in Paradise . Why?

Because they would have eaten the damned snake instead of the frikin' apple!

· can make snakeskin handbag for eve;

· shoes for adam;

· snakeskin makes adam's hard like steel so more sex.

Everyone happy!!!

It is you...

ya.. i know, it is you...
you were wearing in red, and watching 'ugly truth'...


all the best!

A song for you

im composing a song for you.. during my holiday...
will record and post it up once it's complete!

u'll know the message thru the song when u listen to it...
and, i MISS you...

hope u are fine and happy!

Will time heal?!

Time wil heal?!
i totally believe those days...

but, i dun really believe it anymore...
coz, im stil missing you...

i keep singing this song..
and, i keep on 'searching' for you in public.. ha!
how silly i am?!
i KNOW... ha!



Im stil missing you...
A lot...

I miss you!!!

I miss you!!

I miss you!!!

i never stop missing you...

Where r you?!

Main Character

Every movie has its own main character who will be protected and loved by others (No matter how hard the life is)…

I kept flashing back my own life, why was I left alone most the time… I dun care being lonely, but I need someone to lend me their shoulders when I was uneasy… but, I couldn’t think of anyone…

Maybe I am too dominant… People scared of me
Maybe I am too protective… Nobody dares to approach…
Maybe I am too confident… so, this makes me to take the lead all the time…

Im tired…
Im sad…
Im weak…

Sometimes, I need someone to lead me, to concern me, and to arrange/organize things for me… coz, im really tired to be the lead…


WHO is willing to do that for me?!
You?
You?
Or you…?!

A Letter to Little Dove

Little Dove,

Where are you?
Where are you going?
Why are you flying/leaving alone?!
Are you happy?
Are you lonely?
Are you living happily with PC?!
Or, you are now trapped deep in the jungle?!

Happy for you!
Im sorry!
And, I miss you!


Johnny...

Where are you, baby?!

It was 4pm…

I sweated profusely…
My laptop battery was dead…
Reading novel and playing piano as if I was in a sonar room…
I was attacked by thousands of annoying flies… (As well as my grandma Alzheimer speech!!)

WTF! What’s a life?!
Why am I still alive?!

TNB, where are you?
HOW much do we pay you monthly?!
U took 7-8 hrs to fix a few cables…?! (WTF!!!)
Do you know how hot the weather is nowadays?! From 11am till 7pm… it’s unforgivable!!!
Do you know how much pain and damage do you cause to others?!


你害怕的是什么
What are u scared of?
你想要的是什么
What do u want?
站在你背后 我连呼吸都痛
Stand behind you, I can feel the pain even when i breathe

CRAZY Johnny!

Johnny: "Little Dove?!"
Alex: "What?"
Johnny: "Are you little dove? smart guy"
Alex: "May i know who are you, please"
Johnny: "Meet me, then you'll know me! BTW, which hospital are you going for your elective posting?!"
Alex: "Malacca hospital... may i know who are you, please..."
Johnny: "...You know me!"
Alex: ~~calling~~
Johnny cut his call, coz he knows that is not LD...
LD is gentle and mysterious...

Johnny was spending endless hrs/days working on who LD is in real person...
he called, sms, friendster searching, google searching... asked frens or frens' frens for help, etc!!!
Crazy HIM! but, at the end, he still couldn't find out who LD is...
Pathetic huh?!

This officially makes HIM a crazy, stupid stalker!
SAD........

-------------------------

NO MORE!! NO MORE!!!
Johnny will be away for holiday and that will be a place without internet...
Only movies, books, family and piano!!

BYE!


Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules. Then you must learn to play from the heart

I lay in bed, tossing and turning. I stared at the blank white wall and curled up into a ball. I burrowed underneath my blanket, trying to disappear...

I'm leaving -- Mising you

Today, im leaving to Pahang with my fren... and, i think, today will be my last day in KL while waiting for my posting...

So, i wont be able to blog or enjoy reading blogs within these 1-2 months...
Im leaving reluctantly... (you know, in small kampung, i cant get internet access, etc... SAD!!)

I'm not sure whether i can make it through or not...
Because these few months, i was not that emotional/moody any more...
Because when this was going to happen to me, i spent all my time in blogs...
Enjoying!!
Esp that particular 2 blogs which i clicked on once i opened my laptop!
*Addiction*

Im sure missing you!
and, on9 is the ONLY way to get connected with you guys...
But, im going to LOSS it...
and, i start to fell SAD dy...

WHAT to do?
WHAT can i do? (to get you!)
being a POOR student and the ugly and fat one... haih!


p/s:
I never/seldom prioritize my outer beauty, therefore, im fat and old...
This time, im not sure!
Do i really need to take good care of me physically?!
But, im confident with my inner beauty...
ha! U will agree with me, if you know me!
Ha! (Confidence = one of the inner beauties?!)

真实 (Real - by Amei)

你说的话在 我心中生了根

What you had told me, all i keep closely inside my heart

爱得很深所以心很疼

it hurts because i love you deeper

记忆 在我的心中翻滚

Memories flow in my mind

是不是每一个人 都像我一样笨

I wonder, is everyone crazy and stupid like me?!

只怕再问 对彼此都太残忍

Im afraid to ask, it's cruel to both of us

我能感觉另外一个人

I feel there is someone else

我等 等笑容换成泪痕

i wait, wait til the happiness turn into sorrow

爱在崩溃的时候 比较真

i can feel the real feeling when we break-up

太多疑问 知道答案又如何

too many queries... What's the difference by knowing the truth?

原来容忍 不需要天份

In deed, patience is not a talence

只要爱错一个人

you will laern it when you love the wrong one

心痛比快乐更真实

Sorrow is real than happiness

爱为何这样的讽刺

how ironic the love is

我忘了这是第几次

im not sure this is how many times

一见你就无法坚持

i cant help it when i see your face

孤独比拥抱更真实

Loneliness is real than your hugs

爱让人失去了理智

Love makes everyone crazy/blind

会不会是我太自私

am i too selfish

拒绝更寂寞的日子

reject loneliness

放不开 也看不见未来

i cant let go, i cant see the future either

难道这种不完美

I wonder, whether this imperfection

才是爱情真实的样子

is the reality of LOVE?!

[旅程 by 张惠妹]

明明醒着的午后 感觉像个梦

I feel like dreaming in the afternoon although im awake

暖暖吹着的微风 走过的路一幕幕在梦中

im remembering all the pass while the warm wind caressing my face

每当怀疑开始摇头

when i started to doubt

相信总是紧握我的双手

Faith is always hold me closely

告诉我努力 会有结果

Tell me to try harder for better outcome

当我害怕的时候 什么都没把握

When im afraid, i have no confidence

勇敢总是在左右 再困难的梦陪我一起做

Courage is with me through thick and thin

每当伤心开始低头

When i started to feel sad

快乐悄悄走近对我诉说

happiness is approaching and tell me that

让我们抬头 看看天空

Let's look high up into the sky

Sunny day with the rain together

像苦与甜交织的景色

same as the mixture of sweet and bitter

春天的花 冬天的寒冷

Flower of the spring, Coldness of the winter

都是色彩缤纷的人生

All is the colour of our life

Sunny day with the rain together

时间转动着古老的缘份

time is running

黑暗的夜 明亮的早晨

darkness of the night, brightness of the morning

那都是我们 丰盛的旅程

all is the blessing of our journey

Can Someone plz help me to translate due to my lousy english?! thx!

Little Dove, can u plz help up?! i know u can! unless you r busy with ur study.. thx!

Fast and Furious

Just came back from this movie in midvalley...
Nice!
ya... i did enjoy the racing and action part, but i enjoyed more on some CONSERVATION parts...
(tears filled my eyes)

"We're a walking target"
"I don’t want you around when they catch up to me"
"Ride or die remember?"
"Dom, how long are we doing this?"
"Now out of suddenly it’s too dangerous"
"Come on"

But, Dom still left her... He thought he was sacrificing for her, but, He is toooo selfish...
She died for him, coz she wanted him to come back!!!
it's a SAD story!

"Dom , what you doing?"
"You're eating first, so you're the one saying grace"
"Thank you lord for blessing this table"
"with food and family..."
"and friendship..."

Hooray to friendship!!!

He should bring her along...
No matter what happen, they should face it TOGETHER... that's love...
LOVE doesn't need sacrifice... but, UNDERSTANDING...



My own definition for LOVE is,
You don't want the one you love to change for you, b'coz any chances wil end up as "exhaustion" - reason of breaking up!
I wont change for the one i love too!
Therefore, i hate responsibility... so, i better remain SINGLE...
all i want, are the CLOSE frens who understand me and will be there with me through thick and thin!!! THAT's ALL I WANT...



p/s:
Little Dove,
Go for him if you like him...
Talk to him! if not, he wont sense you!
Don't close yourself... Be open... He's the right one, prince charming...
You dont try, you will never know...
"The pain you gave me is more intense than our happiness"
(心痛比快樂更真實)


Di di,
Happy for you!

星星堆滿天　我還是最愛月圓
我中你的毒　我中你的邪
我無藥可解〔我付出一切〕
我為愛付出一切

Im proud of you...
You should do everything for him if you love him...
But, do keep in your mind, LOVE doesn't promise return...
Love hurts people, but every1 is crazy about it...
SAME REMINDER, dont expect any CHANGES from love, that's not a good thing in relationship!! (i sounded sooooo OLD... ya! im your long-winded kor kor, i know!)

So, you will have my support, no matter what happen... you have my word...
and, you think/worry about 2moro, do live happily for TODAY!!! ok?!

Am I in love?!

Am I in love?!
What is love?!

He is mysterious...
He caught my heart to keep waiting for his new updates for his blog and his reply to my comments... (OMG@@@ have i become a stalker?!)
He refused to reveal himself to anyone...
He is shy...
He is cute and gentle...

He plays piano...
He loves the songs i love...
Those songs he loves, eventually become the song i repeated from morning til dawn...
He is very rational...
He is very weird as compared to NORMAL population... (Then, im very weird too!)
He prefers alone...

I tried...
I cried...
How I can reach you?
I don't hope for any return...
May be just a "smile" from you...

What are you scared of?
What do you want?

I want to know you...
I want to hear from you...
I want to be there when i am sad...
I want to play piano together with you...
I want to share my medical knowledges with you...
Or, we can go to church together...
(That is a lots... a lots...)

All i want, just a warm smile from you!!~~


你是爱我的(by Amei)

同样的一场日落
There is the same sunset
同样你还是没说
You are still the same by not telling anything
只是抱紧我时间一到就松手
Just hug me tightly, waiting to let go

你用一万个理由
You are using a million excuses
都比沉默还温柔
gentle than silence
为什么爱我又不断退后
Why do you let go if you are loving me?

你害怕的是什么
What are u scared of?
你想要的是什么
What do u want?
站在你背后
Stand by you
我连呼吸都痛
I can feel the pain even when i breathe

我要相信你是爱我的
I want to believe that you love me
我要相信你是勇敢的
I want to believe that you are brave
我烦时间是最残酷的
I am afraid of the cruelty of waiting
我怎么等
How can i wait?

我要相信你是爱我的
I want to believe that you love me
不要当我每次唱情歌
Dont let me cry when i sing the love song
眼里总有太多泪不停拉扯
My eyes is always filled with tears

我用一万个答案
I am trying to look for a million answers
解释我们的距离
to explain our distance
到最后发现我全都猜错
I am wrong after all


你怀里有太多问号
You have too many queries within you
告诉我怎么依靠
How can i rely on you?





说好的幸福呢？(By Jay Chou)

Where is promised happiness

你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
Your reply is still reverberating chaotically, at this point of time
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
When i thought of the white doves beside the fountain, the sweetness is scattered
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
My feelings are inexplicably dragging on, as i realized that i still love you
而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了
And yet you continue singing songs, pretending that everything is alright

时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
Time has passed and walked away, and there is a choice to be made when it come to love
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
You're becoming apathetic and tired, and i cried
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
You wrote a card describing the unhappiness when you left
有些爱只给到这真的痛了
Sometimes when love reaches this point, it really hurts


怎么了 你累了 说好的幸福呢
What happened, you are tired, where is our promised happiness?
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
I understand, so there is no point talking anymore; our love has become bland and my dreams have bcome farfetched
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
Counting carefully the times of happiness and unhappiness that you won't let go
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
I still remember very clearly the feeling of having loved

你不等了 说好的幸福呢
You're given up waiting, so where is our promised happiness?
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
I was wrong, my tears have dried, i have let go, and have regretted
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢
But that musical box continaing the past is still turning

P/S: I keep repeating these 2 songs since my study weeks...

The MOST beautiful man

He is special to me..
He is the MOST beautiful man i have ever met...

--------------

Being asian (or chinese perhaps), we are close-minded...
we never apologize, admit our mistake and weakness...
our parents seldom praise us even we did the right things...
(what kind of bringing-up?! fucked!!)

therefore, we seldom praise others... that makes us feel more inferior...
we seldom face our weakness... as if ignorance will protect us from unnecessary harm...
we rarely open-up ourselves to others... coz, truth is hurt!

----------------

Honesty and sincerity are the things he surprised me...
He shares his sex life and love life to the world...
He open-ups himself to strangers...
He even tell the whole-world that he is slutting around...
But, deep down in him, i know he is kind and 'fragile' emotionally...

---------------

After talking to him, i found out, he is smart...
Damn smart! (he scored almost straight As in his SPM in year of 1998, which is an excellent result... unlike the situation now, 10As is soooo soooo soooo common! DAMN Malaysia Education System)
He's caring...
He's lovely...
He's hilarious...
He is arrogant with his pride..
He is confident with his look...
and, he is used to be the centre of attention all the time...

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As Chinese proverb goes, "Wise are those who are willing to lay down themselves when it's appropriate"

Di Di, this is my advice to you...
You shouldn't be limited yourself to your own pride/principles of life...
And, remember, i'll be there with you through thick and thin...
No matter what...

I'll always support you!!!

Hi

Hi, everyone...

i would like to share some of my dirty little secret through here...

hope to hear from you too! Hehe...